38th Annual Dyngus Double Header

Malphonia has been providing entertainment for the local Dyngus Day celebration for the past 37 years straight, and this year is no exception.

Join us April 22 from 2-5 at Toast in Detroit-Shoreway and at Prosperity Social Club in Tremont from 6:30-8:30.

We will play polkas, polka-like songs, and polka styled “music”. Bring your pussy willows, but please don’t touch the instruments or the instrumentalists.

Band photo from our first Dingus Day, 1981

Super Secret Shed Recital and Hot Dog Spectacular

Join us Friday, July 14th for a private recital and shed show, featuring 3 Star Hotdogs and our own mascot Spanky. We will provide unsanctioned entertainment from 7-10pm at a need-to-know location somewhere in the heart of Tremont.

Tip: locate the sound of insufferable strumming, then head west and follow the smell of roasting wieners. If you see a tuba, you’re in the right place. Flash the secret hand signal and you’re in! Be cool, don’t let the po-po know what’s going down!



Sitting About Tremont

In the Spring young mens fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love, but for us middle age Malphonians, we think about sitting outside to play our “music”. Such will be the opportunity this May 13th, when the first Walkabout Tremont kicks off in the historic/nostalgic neighborhood of Tremont. Join us between 6 and 9 pm as we play at large in the neighborhood. Just follow the squeezy, honking sounds to the old men with the even older instruments, and mind the valets so you don’t get run over.

accordion boy
Joe plays one of his first busking gigs


Gig diary: 09/12/14 “Artwalk”

Gray clouds and a cool, autumn breeze greeted us as we prepared for a semi-sanctioned appearance during the Tremont Artwalk. We decided to set up very near the epicenter of West 6 Street inspired binging, also known as the Treehouse. Trusting in The Lord, we decided to situate ourselves in front of St John Cantius, the venerable Polish Catholic Church in the neighborhood, praying that at least our polkas would be heard in heaven and might redeem our progressive souls.
Our performance was largely met with averted eyes. “Don’t look at them, Heather, we need every dollar for our Tremontinis! Besides, they don’t even have amplifiers.” The crowds seemed to mock us with their polite indifference.
A few souls did stop to listen, and showed their appreciation by dropping a few dollars in the horn case–“Nothing is Free” said a flyer promoting the band. And indeed, we paid dearly…
Any musician knows that there are several archetypes of spectator one can encounter while playing in a public, accessible venue, and they were well represented even on this sparse night. From the appreciative friends who take the time to sit and listen, to the folks who seem intent in engaging in a conversation whilst one is playing, to the freaks who are suddenly experts on your repertoire and all things musical. “I’m in the music business–you wouldn’t know who I am–it would take too long to explain and it doesn’t matter” begins one fellow, “… but” and he utters the three dreaded words, “you guys should…” the whole while WE’RE PLAYING. It would take too long to explain and it doesn’t matter, but he informed us of which songs we needed to play in order to garner certain sexual favors. Fortunately he was interrupted by his equally well informed friend who eagerly informed us that “you guys should” play here on the second Friday, when it’s Artwalk, because there would be, like, FIVE HUNDRED people walking up and down the sidewalk.

All in all it was a modest, yet fun evening, taking our earnings over to the Literary Cafe where we were able to purchase one round and still have enough left over to tip the lovely barkeep a dollar. Yeah baby. Don’t tell the musicians union!

If you want to catch Malphonia soon, join us tomorrow, Sep. 14, at One World Festival


Photo courtesy Jean Brandt
Photo courtesy Jean Brandt